It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Are my feet made of real feet?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
