Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your penis caused this!
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