My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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