I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So many bounce houses so little time
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
