Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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