No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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