Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
