I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
