I wish I could teleport
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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