are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he puts the penis in happiness.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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