I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My life is pants optional.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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