What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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