I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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