you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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