wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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