butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
