i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
