The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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