i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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