Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize