Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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