On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
