He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
