He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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