Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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