guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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