there's paper in my vomit.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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