Little spoons don't ask big questions
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm too high and old for this...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
