So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
