Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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