Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
