Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
