lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
