like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
