I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I know her cup size but not her name....
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