i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
