Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
