How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
