I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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