I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
