Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
