don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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