the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dignity is for republicans.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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