one two three fourrrrnication!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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