i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
