i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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