I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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