hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
