wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
