You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
