I am midnight drunk by noon
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
