Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize