I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
