I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
