at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
