Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
