Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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