i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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