also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
